Tag Archives: conflict

The Drama Triangle

Superman Drama

Superman Drama

 

In NLP, The Drama Triangle refers to roles that play out in highly charged situations. Each and every client we work with comes to us with a strategy for the sale or purchase of a home. This operates like a movie storyboard or a life script that may  run a strategy in many areas of their lives.  Being a part of this movie script prevents equality in the relationship and will go for as long as one of you is willing to play a role.

The Drama Triangle refers to three roles in the strategy of power, responsibility and vulnerability. The roles are played on an unconscious level, as a matter of fact, you may be playing one right now as the agent and not even realize it. When we buy into the drama of any situations, it can escalate problems.

The three positions are:

The way these roles interact with each other happens in a way that self perpetuates. The Persecutor will blame the victim, the victim feels oppressed, the victim will find a Rescuer, when the Rescuer cannot save the victim, guilt will follow  and the Rescuer may take on the role of a permissive and attention giving parent, which reinforces the victim who is seeking attention.

The Rescuer who has failed, now takes on the role of the victim. ( Ever tried to save a deal, failed and went into victim mode?) The person who was originally the victim, now takes on the role of Persecutor and criticizes the person who was trying to rescue them. ( The client who is now angry because their deal fell through changes from victim to persecutor, blaming the agent for everything that went wrong)

As you look at your own role as an agent, are you checking to see whether your are rescuing your client, playing the victim, or persecuting your client? What action do you need to take to stop the cycle?