How do we know when body language goes bad? In NLP, the meaning of our communication is the response we get.

Kind of obvious that something went wrong here. Whether presenting an Oscar or winning sales, we are always communicating something with our body language.

It’s a critical part of communication to have the sensory acuity to sense when we are in someone else’s personal space. When the space is violated, the response is clear…the other person may stiffen or express discomfort with micro expressions.  Most body language experts agree that 36″ or more  is a recommended distance  for social and business encounters. Anything closer is for personal and intimate encounters with loved one and personal friends.

Touch is something to use very carefully and only if in rapport. A touch on the shoulder or arm is fine for reassurance if the other party is kinesthetic and you have developed TRUST. Never assume it’s okay to touch someone until you absolutely know you are in sync. How do you know? You are mirroring and matching, focused on the other person and taking in the subtle clues of rapport.

Now, no one reading this would ever get so inappropriate as this on a client appointment. This extreme example is just a good reminder to respect others space. It shows respect and professionalism.