Do you Prefer Same or Different?

Did you ever purchase a piece of clothing, only to find you already own something very similar? Or your purchase of vehicles is always the same brand? Sameness  or Difference is a sorting mechanism that  is primal to our nature. Through it we filter for safety and danger. Sameness is something that makes clients feel more protected and comfortable. 

It’s obvious why we work to find commonality with clients and look for Sameness. Because with sameness, we also feel more comfortable. “You like ice cream?”  “Me too!”. However, you may also be working with a client who wants a different or new experience. 

Clients have a preference for Sameness, Sameness with Exception, Difference, or Sameness with Exception and Difference. You can study this at a deeper level through coaching. I will highlight some of the words that give clues or can be used once you know a preference.


Question: How does this house compare to your last house? 

Sameness: “It is exactly the same as my other counter.The kitchen has the identical granite.”
Sameness with Exception: “It is the same but it has more space in the kitchen and less closet space. “
Difference: “It is totally different. Everything about it is brand new.”
Sameness with Exception and Difference: “The kitchen layout is the same but there are more cabinets and I’ve never seen a counter like this before. 

As you work with a client you will begin to notice their pattern. I have a friend whom I bike with and she will not want to ride on the same trail again, always seeking out new places to ride. She is looking for Difference. If you have been working with a client who is looking at more and more houses, it’s useful to find out whether they are searching for the experience of Sameness or Difference so that you can help them narrow the search. If you are working on a listing, it is CRITICAL to find out whether they are looking for Sameness or Difference in an agent. 

About DonnaK

NLP Practitioner, Coach, and Real Estate Agent.
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